That scholarship would be heavenly, good sir.

My letter made my Mom cry, but she always cries.

Despite all my wonderful plans for my future.. I can't help but feel myself slipping into a mild slump of life.

These plans?
1. Birthright Israel this winter (or next summer), whichever I'm accepted for, if I'm accepted
2. Studying abroad next spring-anywhere. Probably wherever Jackie decides, if she goes.
3. Plans to update my portfolio and do something artistic this summer
4. Actually get into the dammed BFA program
5. Lots of beach time
6. Lots of reading time
7. Lots of relaxing time

A job, however, not in the plans of yet. I'll tutor or babysit if it comes up, but I really have no desire to work for the corporate machine.


However, all these things makes me exceptionally lazy. I stopped doing pilates. Gained the weight I lost. And lost motivation to do anything to prepare the plans. Oy vey. There must be something wrong with me.


Anyway, it's really been a nice summer so far. Sarah's spent the night and lived through meeting my fam. Hopefully Namer will be stopping by for dinner tomorrow, that'll be fun. I still gotta get plans together to see some other people I'm missing terribly. I think I'll do that now.

Not really sure what else to do now that I'm home for a night.. with no one to randomly talk to or go out to see. It's nice to be home, though. I can't exactly remember when I was here last. It's different, now, though. Grandma has officially moved in.

The semester is almost over, and I'm completely excited about it. I've missed my Jefferson friends so much this past year, and can't wait to see them nearly everyday.. or as much as possible.

I'm hoping to be employed by the Jefferson schools this break. I have an interview to be a Teacher's Aide in the kindergarten on the other side of town Thursday. Starts immediately. Part time. Until they end school this year. I'm hoping that will lead to the Teacher's Aide job I want for the extended school year in Milton School... If I really am not getting certified in college, then this experience will be invaluable when I try to get a job in two years...

Anywho, that's the future. I'm much more about the now. At least.. for now >.>

The weather is beautiful once again and my usual winter depression is melting away. It's... so... nice. I'm feeling happy more than anything else.

I got my first sunburn of the year during my first beach trip. It's just on my back, so sitting is delightful.. NOT. :)

I want much more beach in my life. And a lot less sunblock in my eyes.

And I'd really like to do the things I always say I wanna do over the summer, but never seem to happen.. like GO TO CANADA (but.. passports are a pain the ass.. damn.) ORRRRRRRR road trip! Gas is down since last summer, so I'm crossing my fingers it'll happen. I don't even wanna go far-just an overnight thing at least! Maybe North.. to like Cape Cod. That would be so good. And delicious. Mmmmm lobster.

I just want to spend as much time outside as possible these days. And not to homework. Or go to class. Senioritis.. and I'm only a sophomore. I gotta stop making friends with seniors. They're a bad influence on my work ethic.
 

P.S.
Low flying planes in New York City... really? Dumbest thing I've heard all day.

Woot, Rilo Kiley icons.

A few anyway... I'm not good at searching for things... I just want Photoshop or something to make my own. Because, you know, mine would be the shit.

I'm reading Dante's The Divine Comedy. Great stuff so far. I'm still in Canto VII, I think, of the Inferno. Very interesting.


ANYWHO.

Last night... was... ABSURD.
 I never have yelled that much in basically a total strangers face before. Let me just tell you... if you're drunk- DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT GET VIOLENT AROUND FRAT BOYS. WHO ARE ALSO DRUNK.

I thought this was common sense. So common that one could remember this while intoxicated. Apparently not.

I seriously thought this girl was going to get killed.

I have never sobered up so fast in my life. From slurred words to complete and serious control.

Anyway. Rush is ovaaa. Associating starts Sunday. Thank the Lord on High. Or whatever people say. I'm just afraid our Pledge Mom is going insane with power and is already intimidating the girls.. and we're going to end up with a ghost line, like half of the other organizations at this school. OH WELL. If not, Phi Sig will be the shit on campus with pretty much the most and best girls around. Word.

I'm about 2.5 seconds from dropping my position. But the way the universe has been working for me.. since... like August.. Whenever I want to feel sorry for myself and be selfish, something happens to people I care about and I have to put myself aside and help them. I don't mind doing that, but I have a feeling that I have a lot of surpressed anger because of that reason. Like, I was crying earlier this week that I can't be pres anymore, and then something pops up where one of my sisters need me, and the best way I can help her is by staying president. I am totally a selfish person. I just hardly get to act on it. Does that make any sense? I don't know.

And every time something has been popping up with the sorority these days-I have vivid dreams about a possibility to solve it. Eh.. or make it worse, but more fun for me. Very strange, because I pretty much have strictly nightmares or.... satisfactory dreams ;)

Other things?

Let's see..

I ALMOST had a job. But I'm not black, so the school won't hire me. So sad.

I missed my first class this week, but for a good cause. But I'm still up on my assignments. Except I lost my planner. And except they closed Calcia (art building) because of a broken steam line or something. Oh fuck... I hope that didn't mess up my projects. Which.. were trying to dry. Ah well. Shit happens. A lot. But, yeah, I didn't get to mix the glaze I'll need for Monday. OH WELL. Maybe I'll wake up early and make it before my 9 AM class. Ha. Yeah, ok.

For my Jewish American Studies class... I'm doing a project on JAPs. Cannot wait. I'm surrounded my excellent material.

Family stuff....
It's fun having my mom on Facebook. And other people in my familia, too.

Dad's in Hong Kong this week, so I feel bad I can't be home to help my mom. She's got Joey to help her with things... so, basically, she's on her own. Sad stuff.

Grandma is moving in eventually. God Bless Momma, she'll need the extra lift in spirit. I love my Grandma, but she's kind of hard to deal with for long periods of time. Mostly because she's absolutely crazy.

UHM.

Namer and I are getting an apartment, we looked at a really nice one not too far from school. We're going back next month to see if they have any idea if they'll have any openings in May. Oh yeah. May. Because 1) I need not to live at home anymore lest I lose my mind, and 2) SUMMER SCHOOL IS FOR ME.

Like I said, I'm never graduating. I still have over four semesters worth of classes to finish my major and minor.




I'm still trying to figure out why I'm such a fuck up of a person. I mean, I know there has to be something up with me. There's no way I can have this much trouble with my close friends jam packed into two WONDERFUL semesters. Seriously. I LOVE crying over my friends going apeshit on me. And, this is how messed up I am, no matter how they treat me, I still think about these people pretty much every day. Like, in the good, friendly way.. like I wonder what they're up to. I wonder who they're crushing on, I hope it's going well, etc etc etc. Lame as shit, I know. OH WELL.