And I hate having to always have an opinion. Sometimes I actually don't have one and want to go with the flow.

I just want to be able to say "I want [this], and I want it [time and/or place]." And not worry about the consequences. Or how I'll be perceived. But, I care about what others think of me.

UGH. Frustration is my name this semester.

I feel very miniscule in the universe.

Do the if onlys keep you up at night, too?

Half the time, well-probably more than than half, I want to scream and yell and be selfish.

Being a shut-in 80% of the time, and ignoring it is a lot easier though.



(I've watched Star Wars Episodes 1-3 and all of True Blood within 32 hours... with a 5 hour nap (starting at 8 am) and 6 hours of babysitting in between. Yup.)

Despite all my wonderful plans for my future.. I can't help but feel myself slipping into a mild slump of life.

These plans?
1. Birthright Israel this winter (or next summer), whichever I'm accepted for, if I'm accepted
2. Studying abroad next spring-anywhere. Probably wherever Jackie decides, if she goes.
3. Plans to update my portfolio and do something artistic this summer
4. Actually get into the dammed BFA program
5. Lots of beach time
6. Lots of reading time
7. Lots of relaxing time

A job, however, not in the plans of yet. I'll tutor or babysit if it comes up, but I really have no desire to work for the corporate machine.


However, all these things makes me exceptionally lazy. I stopped doing pilates. Gained the weight I lost. And lost motivation to do anything to prepare the plans. Oy vey. There must be something wrong with me.


Anyway, it's really been a nice summer so far. Sarah's spent the night and lived through meeting my fam. Hopefully Namer will be stopping by for dinner tomorrow, that'll be fun. I still gotta get plans together to see some other people I'm missing terribly. I think I'll do that now.

I forgot about this thing.

Even though it's in my bookmarks toolbar >.>

Though, I don't have anything super interesting to update about.

Later, kids.


P.S.
THIS FLIPPIN SEMESTER IS ALMOST OVER.