Run Devil, Run

So typical.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:02:11 GMT

I can't believe how awkward my life is.

At least, to make it better, I now remember him saying, "My dad wanted me home at 1. Imagine if I had listened.."

So.. that makes it better...-ish.. right?

I hate being so indecisive.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 21:46:09 GMT

And I hate having to always have an opinion. Sometimes I actually don't have one and want to go with the flow.

I just want to be able to say "I want [this], and I want it [time and/or place]." And not worry about the consequences. Or how I'll be perceived. But, I care about what others think of me.

UGH. Frustration is my name this semester.

w0rd(s)

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:11:35 GMT

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X (more or less)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman X
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

Total: 4

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (one daaayyy)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

Total: 7

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

Total: 10

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

Total: 11

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

Total: 12

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens X
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley X
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon X
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Total: 15

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

Total: 17

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante (reading noooww)
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt

Total: 17

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom X
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

Total: 19

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Total: 22

It's kind of pathetic.

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:24:26 GMT

Today in my Ethics class my professor gave us a writing prompt. He said to image we were 90 years old and start with these few words and write the essay.

When I look back upon my life, I see a girl who tried her best. She grew up with a quality life, a comfortable life, with loving parents, siblings, and friends. But, she struggled from within. Being made fun of as a child set off a roller coaster of mental and self esteem problems, that took the better part of her life to sort through.

It took so long to get help because she was ashamed. She didn't love herself and she didn't know how. She didn't trust others. She didn't trust herself. So, she hurt herself for many years to deal with the pain of self loathing. She knew that it didn't really help and just caused more problems in the end, but it seemed like the only way to cope.

It took time to realize that it was this self hatred and her neurotic ways that pushed the ones she loved most away. And then, she started walking away from friends before they could hurt her.

She raved that honesty and truth were the only expectations she had of others-but she couldn't bare to reciprocate those virtues. Her deepest regrets growing up were not saying how she felt. Especially when she truly cared about someone else.

And despite feeling so small on the inside, she always tried to smile. Always tried to put others first. Always tried to her best in school, at work- at anything she did. She would push herself. She would do anything to forget about the pain. Helping others relieved it the most-so, she became a teacher.

She didn't marry, but always kept a group of friends around to distract her from her loneliness. Relationships came along, but they left eventually. She couldn't conceive of being loved by someone else when she couldn't love herself.

Over the years, when she didn't feel as much pressure to be thin and beautiful, she stopped harming herself. She had a comfortable and routine life. There was no one left to impress. She painted and drew in her spare time for therapy, but always felt the weight of being alone and needing someone beside her.

She never made much money or became what everyone expected her to be. She was content, but not happy.

And that's how far I got when class ended. I was pretty cool almost crying into my notebook. Word.

Stuff.

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:53:20 GMT

Boys are stupid. But I'm stupider.
Fuck. They always win.

I am an addict.

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:51:27 GMT

The Usual Stuff.

Name: Bridgette
Birthday: 01/24
Age: 20
Nicknames: Brigit, Bree, Bree Bee, Bree Bree, BB, B-Dawg, Bridge, Bridgey, Big, Little, Grand Big, Auntie.. etc etc etc
Zodiac sign: Aquarius
Sex: Female

Friends

Your best friend: Jackie
Craziest: Sarah
Cutest: Little
Friend with the best hair: Georiga
Friend you trust with all your secrets: I don't trust anyone with everything
Most understanding: Mel
Last friend you went to the movies with: Sarah
Happiest: Hm, idk.
Funniest: .. Gregg
Weirdest: We're all pretty weird
Scariest: Uh?
Most outgoing: Sarah
Spends the night at your house the most: Jackie
Has the cutest brother/sister: lol no, thats weird
Friend you would most likely die for: Any and all
Facebooks you visit the most: Jackie, Georgia
Texts you the most: Mel

Stuff

Do you have any tattoos? Not yet
If so, what of?: blah blah, same old
What’s the last thing you bought?: idk
Do you have a job? If so, where?: Petco, subbing, babysitting
What was your most embarrassing moment?: always
Last 4 digits of the last phone you dialed: 4191
What is in your pockets right now?: phone, chap stick
What was the happiest moment in your life?: NYC with mel, kim, truc, and jav. i feel like im missing someone.. anyway, that night was overall probably the best time in my life
Have you ever egged a house?: no
Who is your role model?: momma
What’s your favorite holiday?: new years
When is the last time you stayed up all night?: recently
What is your favorite book?: Potter is up there
Who is your favorite author?: Shakespeare is my man
Where did you have your last birthday party?: I.. can't remember...?
Who came?: I really don't remember, not because of drunkness or anything. i just have a shotty memory
Who has changed your life the most for the better?: For the better... that's assuming an awful lot
What’s your favorite song?: The Last Time I Saw Richard, Joni Mitchell
What’s your favorite cd?: I'm digging The New Romance by Pretty Girls Make Graves right now
What are your favorite pizza toppings?: White pizza with broccoli sometimes
Where do you order pizza from the most?: Idk
Have you ever been in the hospital for more than a day?: nope
How many days is your record for time spent in a hospital?: just the one
Why did you have to go to the hospital?: Surgery for my cyst
How long has it been since you went to the mall?: not too long
What’s the last movie you saw in a theater?: Whip It or The Whip, whatever
What’s the last movie you rented?: no idea
Do you like to write poetry?: no
Do you like to read poetry?: sure
Have you ever written a song?: not really
After you read it to yourself did it sound stupid?: idk
What’s your favorite band?: Rilo Kiley
Who is your favorite solo singer?: Joni Mitchell
If you suffocate a smurf, what color does he turn?: Yellow? Yeah, sure. Yellow.
Do you believe in ghosts?: Most of the time
Have you ever seen a ghost?: I think I've 'felt' one
What is your favorite ride at the fair?: Twirl a Whirl
What is your favorite inside joke you have with a friend?: Idk
Name the people who know and understand that inside joke: Idk
Have you ever thrown a party in which complete strangers have attended?: No? Unless my sorority events count
Was there a guy named True there?: Dunno
Would you ever name your kid True?: Nope
Would you make fun of some1 if you knew their name was True?: Probably
Do you look more like your mom or your dad?: Mom
Are you an only child?: No
Do you have any brothers or sisters?: Both
Their names: Georgia, Joey, Maggie and AJ
Their ages: 19 14 10 8
What color is your computer?: Black
What is your favorite color of ink to write in?: Black
Would you rather write in pen or pencil?: Pen
How tall are you? How short? 5'4
What’s your name again?: Bridgette
Do you believe in God?: Yes
Do you pray often?: Yes
What’s your biggest fear?: Ending up alone
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Nah
Have you ever been in a car accident?: Yes
Who was driving?: Uncle
Did anybody not survive?: Nope
What is your lucky number?: 124
Do you still believe in the tooth fairy?: No
Does the tooth fairy still give you money?: No
If so, did someone knock out your teeth?: No
Who is your favorite family member?: Can't decide
What is your favorite breed of dog?: Pit Bull/German Shepherd
What is your favorite name for a dog?: Buster, because he is both of those previously mentioned breeds
What is your favorite name for a cat?: Idk
Have you ever been drunk?: Yes
Have you ever gotten high?: Yes
Have you ever been on the radio?: No
Have you ever been on TV?: No
Have you ever been in a movie?: No
Who is your favorite actress?: Idk
Who is your favorite actor?: Idk
Do you have a cellphone?: Yes
Do you have a pager?: No
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?: Denied myself something I truly wanted
Why are all the fun things illegal?: Because bad things happen to good people
What’s your favorite quote?: "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." - Elbert Hubbard
What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?: Mint Chocolate Chip or Mocha Chip
Who is your favorite person to talk to offline?: Everyone
Who is your favorite person to talk to online?: Anyone
Who do you wish you were talking to right now?: A few people
Do you have any nicknames that you liked that your friends no longer use?: Idk, not really
Who is your hero?: Momma
What do you think of racism?: Everyone is a little bit racist
Are you racist?: It happens
What is your favorite day of the week?: Friday
What is your least favorite day of the week?: Saturday.. work..
Do you like rain?: Depends if I'm prepared
Do you think lightning is awesome?: Sure
What is your favorite word?: Sorry to be vulgar, but fuck
If you could visit any country, where would you go?: Canadaa
How long would you want to stay?: Foreverr
Who would you want to take with you?: Everyone
How old do you act?: Depends... usually older than I am, but sometimes much younger
How old is your best friend?: Same as me
How old does your best friend act?: Older
When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up?: Teacher
What do you want to be now?: Teacher... I think.. maybe... idk
Do you think you were an adorable little kid?: Sure
What were the names of your imaginary friends?: I never named them
Do you have any pennies sitting on your computer desk?: No, don't have one
What is the most unique thing about your bedroom?: Tapestries
Do you have a black light?: No
Do you have a strobe light?: No
Do you have glow-in-the-dark stars?: No
Do you have anything that glows in the dark?: Nope
What color is your pillow case?: Blue, green, brown, purple
What is your favorite thing to wear to bed?: Clothes I wore during the day or naked
Do you like Pepsi or Coke better?: Coke
Can you tell a difference?: Yes
What are you thinking about right now?: What I usually think about
What is your favorite song to listen to when you are mad?: Anything Coheed
What is the last song you listened to?: All I Want by Joni Mitchell
What is your favorite movie?: Casablanca
What is your dream car?: I don't have one
How many times have you had the chicken pox?: Twice
When was the last time you brushed your teeth?: Midday
What is your middle name?: Nancy

The Good Stuff

Do you have a girl/boyfriend?: No
What is his/her name?: N/A
How long have you been together?: N/A
Do you love him/her?: N/A
Are you in love with him/her?: N/A
Are you a virgin?: Yes
How many people have you slept with?: None
Can you still name them all?: N/A
When was the last time you had sex?: Neva
How long was your longest crush?: Years and years
How old were you when you lost your virginity?: N/A
Do you regret losing it?: Not yet
Who did you lose it to?: N/A
How old were they when it happened?: N/A
Did you use protection?: N/A

Other Stuff

What is your favorite emotion?: Happiness
What is your favorite TV show?: Idk
What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say?: "If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
How many cds do you own?: Lots
When you go to the movies do you throw stuff at people?: No
When you go to the movies do you throw stuff at the movie screen?: No
How many times have you been kicked out of the movies?: Never
Have you ever been kicked out of a grocery store?: No
What annoys you the most?: Lies
Who annoys you the most?: Liars
Do you know any fake people? (People who act nice to you to your face but then talk about you behind your back): Probably too many
What are their names?: I don't name names
Where did you meet them?: School
How long have you known them?: Too long
Did you ever want to smack them?: Sure
Did you ever smack them?: No
What’s your favorite season?: Summer/Fall inbetweeness
What’s your favorite subject in school?: Philosophy/Religion/Art
What’s your least favorite subject in school?: Science
Who is your all-time favorite teacher?: Kogan
What school do you go to?: Montclair
What is the mascot at your school? Rocky Redhawk
What grade are you in?: Junior
What grade are you supposed to be in?: Junior
What is your favorite song?: The Last Time I Saw Richard
What song reminds you of yourself?: That song ^
What is your best friend’s birthday?: May 15th
What is your favorite flavor of skittles?: Red
Would you rather have friendship or love?: Love
What makes you nervous?: Boys
Describe yourself in five words: I really do always try
If you knew the truth was gonna hurt you would you still wanna hear it?: Yes
Do long distance relationships work?: Sure
Would you change yourself to make someone else happy?: Depends..
What one thing makes you happy?: Happiness in others
What phrase or saying do you use the most?: w0rd
What’s your favorite scary movie?: Idk
What would you do with a million dollars?: College forever
If your house was burning down and you could only take one thing with you, what would you take?: No idea. I would just make sure the fam is safe
Were you shocked when you heard Princess Diana died?: Idk
Who is the biggest flirt you know?: I'm pretty flirty
Do they ever flirt with your crush?: Yup
Do you ever want to hurt them?: No
Do they know you like that person?: Yup
Are you glad this survey is over?: Sure

BOREDSURVEYTIMEYAY

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:56:32 GMT

Currently:
1. What book are you reading? Only about 6 different books
2. What are you listening to? Tim Gunn's Guide to Style
3. What are you wearing? pajama pants, tshirt and sweat shirt and mukluks
4. What are you drinking or eating? Nothing
5. Who are you dating or crushing on? Nobody really
6. Who are you talking to? No one
7. What mood are you in? ; ), as usual. these past two months are crazy for me.. yeah.
8. How is the weather outside? The weather outside with weather
9. What's the date and time? Friday, October 16, 2009 12:34 PM
10. What do you wish you were doing? ; )

Lasts:
1. What is the last thing you did before this survey? Check my bank balance
2. Where was your last kiss? In a car on top of Transit...
3. When is the last time you felt angry? I can't recall
4. What is the last purchase you made? Hm.. I think food
5. Who were you last annoyed with? A boy, who else?
6. What did you last have to eat? Bagel
7. Who is the last male you talked to? David
8. Where is the last place you hung out at? SGA Office
9. When is the last time you got a work out? I don't want to talk about it haha
10. What is the last make-up you used? Two days ago or so

Favorites:
1. What is your favorite musical artist or band? Joni Mitchell & Rilo Kiley
2. What is your current favorite album? The New Romance by Pretty Girls Make Graves
3. Who is your favorite actor or actress? Idk..
4. Where is your favorite vacation spot? CANADA omg, I need a passport NOW
5. What is your favorite school subject? Uh. Philosophy?
6. What is your favorite thing to eat? Chinese or sushi fo sho
7. What are some of your favorite web-sites? FMyLife, texts from last night, explosm, FAILblog, etc
8. Who is your favorite comedian? George Carlin
9. What is your favorite movie? Casablanca
10. What is your favorite part of the day? Sunset

This or That:
1. Playing a sport or watching a sport? Playing
2. Intelligence or beauty? Intelligence
3. Reading a book or watching a movie? Usually a movie is all I have time for
4. Watching a movie or watching a tv show? Movie
5. Summer break or winter break? Summer
6. Bright colors or dark colors? Cool colors, brah
7. Breakfast time or lunch time? Lunch
8. Going out for dinner or staying in? Outtt
10. Healthy food or junk food? Obv. junk, but I try to eat healthy

Tomorrow:
1. What are you doing? Work : (
2. Are you going to see friends? Nope
3. What day is tomorrow? Saturday
4. Do you have school? No
5. What are you going to wear? PJs and then uniform
6. Are you going to see your crush/significant other? No
7. Are you doing anything fun? No
8. How do you feel about tomorrow? Meh
9. Is tomorrow someone's birthday? Not according to Facebook
10. Do you wish you could skip tomorrow? Yes

Are you's:
Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? Nothing to get over

Are you in love? Nope

Are you over the age of 18? Yes

Are you a male or female? Female

Are you currently missing anybody? Yup, her name is Big

Are you currently waiting for a text / phone call? Sorta, more like hoping

Random:
Are you ready for some questions you have never been asked? Sure

Who was the last person you gave your number to? Jon.. I think

Who ended your last relationship? Me, I suppose

Was it in person, text message, etc? Uh, I guess it was lack of texting and seeing in person

Who are you texting? Nobody

Why aren't you in 'love' with your last ex anymore? We grew apart

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Nope

How late did you stay up last night and why? Not too late, watching TV

What do you currently hear right now? Lady in the Water-ness

Do you smoke crack everyday? Absolutely

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? It's been awhile (at least face to face)

Who was the first person you talked to today? Daddy

Have you ever ridden a horse? Once or twice I think

Have you ever cried so much you threw up? No...

What are you looking forward to in the next month? Formal..?

Are you anything like you were at this point last year? Not really

Are you wearing jeans right now? No

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't? Yes

What's something you do when you're mad? Go do something to make me laugh. Or rant.

Are you a patient person? Depends

Would you rather be mad or sad? Mad

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? Dunno

Do you ever use words like stoked, souped or sick? Sometimes

When was the last time you cried? It's been awhile, idk

Closest green object to you? The PJ pants I am wearing, my mukluks, the couch I am sitting on, the blanket besides me, and my scarf in front of me

Where is your default picture taken? Pi Kappa Phi

What is your current mood? Boreddd

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? Yes

Favorite color? Greens/Blues

What's your favorite smell? Sweet flowers, usually

Ever kissed in the rain? No

What are you thinking about right now? How stupid the CGI is for Lady in the Water

What should you be doing? Homework and crafts

Do you like working in the yard? No

What color are your eyes? Blue/grey

Where did you get your last bruise from? Probably from walking into something

Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? No, oh wait. Shit. D in 6th grade science once..

If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? Rios

Were you happy when you woke up today? Groggy

Do you believe in true love? Idk

Will your next kiss be a mistake? Anything could happen lol

When's the last time you talked to an ex, and about what? England.. last Halloween

Last time you were drunk, do you regret anything you did? No

Do you shave anything else besides your legs and armpits? Yup

Whats the biggest promise someone broke with you? I don't know, more like they broke my trust

What are your pets names? Don't have one

What color are your underwear? pink

What part of your body would you like to change? What don't I?

Have you ever been cheated on, if so how did you deal with it? Nope

Have you ever thought about giving someone a make over? Yup

How old were you when you first smoked weed? 17

Do you still? On occasion

Can you call your ex on the phone with out it being awkward? Probably not

Do you pluck your eyebrows? Yes

Do you have an attitude? Yeah

Have you ever talked to a cop drunk? No

Has anyone ever tried to ruin your relationship? No?

Have you ever kissed someone while you were high? Nope

Has anyone ever threw a surprise party for you? Yes : )

Where's your best friend right now? MSG?

Have you told someone you'd pay them back but never did? No

Do you own any sex toys/vibrators? No

Do you have a lighter on you? No

Do you like twilight? No

What was your last embarassing moment? My entire life

What's your favorite tv show? Hard to say

What do you think about the last person who posted this survey before you? WEIRD.

How many kids do you want to have? None

What do you want to get tattooed? Waterfall and nature scene on my back

Do you swear in front of your parents? I try not to

Whats your favorite store at the mall? I dunno

Last person you talked on the phone with? Sarah

When is the next time you will see your number one on your top friends? Don't have top friends

Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? I better

Was last New Year's enjoyable? Very much so

Do you have siblings over the age of 21? No

Will this weekend be a good one? No

Will tomorrow be better than today? No

You've taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing? Dying/dead

What do you currently hear right now? My9 News commercial

Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes

Who was the last person to text you? David

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yes

Are you a mean person? No

Does anyone hate you? I'd say they make it feel like they do

Do you think relationships are even worth it? Dunno

Relationships or one night stands? Ha, idk

If something was wrong, who is the first person you would go to? Jackie or Mel or Georgia or Momma I guess

Do you usually tell people when you're mad at them? Yes

Honestly, how is your heart lately? Turmoil

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Yes

What is stressing you out most right now? Finding a quote for my crafts!

Is there anyone that will text you and you smile instantly? Yes

Ever given your all to someone who walked away? Sure?

Ever kissed someone who's name starts with a "C" or "J"? Both

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed? Couch

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? No

What were you doing at 10:30 last night? Couchh

Welcome to My Awkward Life

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:40:43 GMT

Awkward conversation todayyy. Had to be done, though. And more to come. Oy vey.
Anyway, Natalie is a doll.

In other news...
How do these cracked out addicts find love and not me?
Intervention, man... opens my eyes to all kinds of crazy.

Oh, life.

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 01:44:54 GMT

I wish I was the type of person who spoke my mind when I'm angry with someone. Or upset. Whatever.

I wish I was the type of person who trusted others.

Sometimes I really hate the people that made me who I am.

Survey time again

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 21:43:45 GMT

Answer True or False.
Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? FB, true. LJ, false
Q: Been arrested? False
Q: Do you like someone? True-ish
Q: Held a snake? True
Q: Been suspended from school? False
Q: Sang karaoke? Karaoke Revolution, true. Otherwise, false
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? True
Q: Laughed until you started crying? True
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? True
Q: Kissed in the rain? False
Q: Sang in the shower? True
Q: Sat on a roof top? True
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? True
Q: Shaved your head? False
Q: Played a prank on someone? True
Q: Shot a gun? False
Q: Donated blood? True

LAST PERSON...
1. You hung out with? Joey
2. You texted? Little
3. You were in a car with? Joey
4. Went to the movies with? Sarah
5. Person you went to shop with? Sarah
6. You talked on the phone? Georgia
7. Made you laugh? Georgia
8. You hugged? Melanie

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or Right? Right
4. Sunny or rainy? Rainy

5. Where do you live? Jefferson
6. Club or pub? Prolly pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? I think so
8. Do you want to get married? Maybe
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
10. What time is it? 5:13
11. Are you afraid of commitment? Yes
12. What is your greatest hope/wish? To be happy
.. ok no 13 then
14. Current mood? Bored.. if that's a mood..

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...
1. Sang? Yes
2. Listened to music? Yes
3. Danced Crazy? No
4. Cried? No
5. Liked someone you can't have? Sorta?

25 FIRSTS .....
1.Who was your first prom (or homecoming) date? N/A
2. Who was your first roommate? Lauren Q and Darlene
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Mix of screwdrivers and shots of Captain Old Spice
4. What was your first job? WaMu Intern
5. What was your first car? Big Gay Al
6. When did you go to your first viewing/funeral? Mark's dad in 8th grade
7. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Jeannie Brown
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Florida, I suppose
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time? HA, omg.. senior year in HS (same night as first drunk experience. Go figure)
11. Who was your first best friend? John
12. Who was your first Best Friend in high school? I carried over from MS- Daria, Jackie, KIm, Lauren
13. Where was your first sleepover? Hm.. not sure.
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Georgia or Mel or Jackie
15. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? My aunt's
16. What is the first thing you did when you got up this morning? Breakfast
17. What was the first concert you went to? N'SYNC
18. What was the last concert you went to? Oodles of People in Charge shows.. I guess that counts

19. First tattoo or piercing? Ears
22. First crush? John
23. Current crush? Meh
24. First time you tied your shoe laces? I dunno

Five names you go by:
1. Bridgette
2. Brigit
3. Bree
4. Bree Bee
5. BB

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Mukluks
2. Peace sign scarf
3. Plaid pj pants

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. UHM ;) inapro-pro things
2. Apartment
3. Something to do

Three people who will probably fill this out:
1. Um
2. No
3. One

Two things you ate today:
1. Wonton Soup
2. Cold Noodles in Sesame Sauce

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Zach
2. Georgia

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. Wake up
2. Go on FB
3. Watch TV

Two longest car rides:
1. Quebec
2. South Carolina

Favorite beverages:
1. Diet Coke
2. Tea-any
3. Hot Chocolate

3 or so surverys

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:08:25 GMT

Don't tell me lies, so where's your man?
he's not mine, but he's off doing some philanthropy somewhere

First name of the last person to text you?
rachel

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone?
dad

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
yes, and currently

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
yup, one or more of my sisters

Have you faced any of your fears lately?
i think so

Have you ever kissed under water?
no

Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried?
dunno, probably melanie or little last year

Do you have to plug your nose while swimming under water?
just to jump in

Do you know anyone who committed suicide?
unfortunately more than one

Is it ever too late to apologize?
nope

Do your computer speakers work?
yup

Which friend are you most similiar to?
according to gail-jon and i are the same person lol
but otherwise.. melanie in a lot of ways haha

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M?
nope

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips?
absolutely not. she's my cousin

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends?
camping with a ton of friends

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name starts with P, J, R, M, C or D?
no, yes, yes, no, yes and yes

Who can make you feel better in a difficult situation?
no one, really. i pretty much just need an hour or so and i've got it under contol

Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
i'm confused by the wording, but yeah, there's someone i would kiss right now

What did your last text say?
lol at least you weren't the only one

Has anyone ever told you they never wanna lose you?
yeah

What's on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet?
old records

How do you feel about girls smoking?
gross for anyone

Where would you rather live, England or Australia?
england

What's your relationship with the last person you texted?
cousin

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
thank god no hickey

Do you fall for people easily?
not at all

What do you do when you have a bad day?
eat and watch tv

If you are sitting on the porch and see an ant, do you squash it?
i try to scare it away

Do you want someone dead?
no

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
no

What would be the first thing you would do with 100,000 dollars?
pay for college/grad school

Would you rather go to Africa or Paris for two weeks?
paris

If you clone yourself and kill your clone, is it considered suicide?
no

Have you ever thought you were dying but you were actually just pregnant?
hahaha no

Is your crush banging someone else?
don't want to know, and idk if im crushing

Are you addicted to cigarettes?
no

Do you know anyone named holly?
yeah

Are you upset because you actually aren't even cool?
sometimes

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk?
most of the time, thats the case

Can you do this without deleting questions?
yes

Is your last name longer than 6 letters?
no

Last person who laid in your bed besides you?
chris laid in my bed at the sga retreat.. and so did.. uhm... maria? danielle? i dont remember, i was sick

Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
most of the time, thats the case

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
i only like older guys

What are you doing?
this, and watching family guy

Is someone on your mind right now?
sorta

If you could spend more time with someone you used to be close with, who would it be?
hm.. big, fo sho

Is there someone you will never forget?
most people

What's on your mind?
haha inappropriate things ;)

Do you truly hate anyone?
no

Do you want someone back in your life?
yup

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about?
dad, whether i was coming home or not

What's going on between you and the last person you texted?
nothing, i just asked why she had a black eye

Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
yes

Have you ever been hit on through a text message?
yes

What's the first sent text and who was it to?
im at the theta xi table to danielle

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?
ha yes

Who did you last ride in a car with?
gail <3

What are you doing for your next birthday?
apparently nyc :D

In February were you in a relationship? with who?
no

Plans for Saturday?
workk

Are you currently frustrated with someone?
oh yes

Can you play pool?
sorta

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
dunno

You're thinking about someone, aren't you?
sorta...

Do you like hugs?
yup

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
depends what they did

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
yes

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
yes

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
jacket

Do you know anyone that is currently locked up?
no

Do you regret anything?
not really

Have you ever had a panic attack?
not sure

What color are your eyes?
blue/grey

What were you doing 4 hours ago?
waking up

When did you get up today?
12

Is there anyone that could make your day if they showed up at your house?
definitely

How old was the last person you rode in a car with?
19

What color was the last vehicle you were in?
black

Do you have big plans for the weekend?
work and homework, YEAH

How many of your top friends have tattoos?
i dont have the top friends app

How long have you lived at your current residence?
10 years

When was the last time you were up at 5am?
last friday

What was the last movie you saw in theaters and who did you go with?
um.. inglorious basterds with jackie steve lauren sean nicole and gregg

When was the last time you went bowling?
omg i dont even know :(

How about swimming?
over a year ago :(

What was the last thing you cooked?
canned soup

Did you go to daycare when you were little?
no

Do you have a favorite pillow you like to sleep with?
no

When was the last time you slept in someone else's bed?
mel's bed sometime within the last two weeks

Are there any candles in the room you're in?
yup

If you turn around, what is behind you?
a couch

Would you dye your hair hot pink for $50?
no

Do you have any step or half siblings?
no

What would you do if your number two showed up on your doorstep this very minute?
what??

If you switch 'e' with 'a', 'n' with 'c', and 'l' with 'x' what's your name?
brxdgatta

Who was the last person you dreamt about?
it was a REALLY strange dream. but a bunch of made up people and my boss. something about.. i had to marry him for diplomatic reasons, he was a king or something, and i became queen of the jews? i dont' know. i cannot explain. it wasn't sexual at all or religious. it was like.. so weird.

What percent of your day includes music?
not enough :(

Are your fingernails painted?
not really anymore

In how many years will you be thirty?
a little more than 9

Do you set your marshmallows on fire when you roast them?
sometimes

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened?
sweeeet

Have you ever hugged someone who's name began with 'E'?
probably not

Have you showered today?
a few hours ago

Who were you with at 7:25 AM today?
sleeeeping

Would you pay someone to kill the last person who hurt you most?
no

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
yesterday

Is it ever too late to apologize?
never

What will you be doing tomorrow?
worrkk

Have you hugged someone within the last week?
yes

Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side?
side

Is there anyone holding a grudge against you?
a few

What did you do today that was fun?
shower

Have you hugged a family member lately?
no

Do you know anyone named Joshua?
yeah

How long does it take you to get ready?
maybe 30 mins

1. would you rather have a famous song written about you or have a television show based on your high school years?
song

2. what's something that you think looks great on other people, but would look horrible on yourself?
bikinis

3. what technological goody do you currently desire?
a new computerr

4. are you a twitterholic?
no, dont have one

5. do you prefer people to call you or text you?
text. im deaf

6. what made your favorite band your favorite?
lyrics

7. if you could go out and get a piercing right now, what would you get done (if anything)?
another ear piercing would be ok

8. who would you rather be friends with - a famous actor, or a famous musician?
musician

9. who's your favorite talk show host?
tyra, tyra

10. what's your favorite ride at disneyland?
alien encounter

11. if you had to be locked in a room filled with rats, snakes, or spiders (your choice, & none of them would be poisonous) for $500,000, would snakes

12. if you could meet & spend a day and night with your favorite celebrity, but had to give up one of your addictions for a year, would you do it?
yes

13. would you rather have your dream car or your dream house?
house

14. are you more realistic and sensible or idealistic and daydreamy?
both

15. what's your favorite scene in your favorite movie?
casablanca.. I can barely choose, but when Rick lets Ilsa go :(

16. what body modification can you never ever see yourself doing?
most

17. would you rather take a class for kickboxing or yoga?
kickboxing

18. if you could live in any movie or television show, which would you choose?
i would live.. in that 70s show

19. what's your favorite mexican food?
they're all the same...

20. what is your internet browser of choice?
firefox is fine by me

21. would you rather spend a day at the beach during summer or a day in the mountains during winter?
beeeach

22. what's your favorite gaming console?
playstation

23. what amusement park would you prefer to go to on your birthday?
great adventure

24. how much ice do you like in your drink?
some

25. would you rather travel to outer space or the bottom of the sea?
space

26. what would you like to be famous for?
a good person? lol

27. what's your favorite thing to snack on?
depends

28. what is something you really want to do, but are afraid to?
boy-related things

29. what game show would you love to go on?
wheel of fortune

30. if you woke up and discovered that you'd time travelled to the 1970s, and somehow knew you'd only be there for one week, what would you do?
what wouldn't i do?! mostly shop though lol

31. if you're a vegetarian, what made you come to that decision? and if not, what are your reasons?
probably dietary reasons

32. what's the worst movie you've ever seen?
year one

33. do you name your possessions?
not usually, just big purchases

34. what's your favorite card game?
texas hold'em

35. where is your happy place?
;)

Yup, I REALLY am dumb.

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:34:37 GMT

And THIS is why I can't trust people.

Asshole.

Argh.

I'm dumb.

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 02:10:03 GMT

This past year or so I have been dedicating myself to building very thick walls. Because I'm done trusting people. Thus far, that's what I have learned from every relationship I have ever had. Be it friendship or otherwise.

But, of course, I let one guy throw a wrench into the works and now I'm walking around with butterflies.

Ugh.

Imma Junior?!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 04:56:38 GMT

Well... all I can say is that I wish I was on/around campus. I already miss my Jefferson friends (yes, I did just spend an entire week camping with them. I'm lame) and already feel left out of the fun with my MSU crowd.

Commuting is teh gay. And I didn't even start yet.

Hm...

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 04:42:21 GMT

I signed onto AIM for like the second time this summer, and I find it fucking eerie that she's still signed on. Because I forgot for a moment, then it hit me again.

: /

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 18:19:03 GMT

Camping came to a most dismal close. I'm still in shock.

They Don't Get It

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:59:27 GMT

Living here is like torture for them, so don't they think I find this place unbearable?

UASDLKJADJKLASD

I just want to be in the middle of the woods, unreachable, for life. But that week will do.

Can't I fast forward this next week, please? I don't even care about the Tyra Show. Or seeing Eric the Fish Guy.

Something Bad is Going to Happen

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:53:15 GMT

Because something wonderful just did! Karma is intense, so... I'm scared haha

ANYWHO.

SOMEBODY GOT $5,000 FOR FALL '09/SPRING '10! :) I am sending wonderful vibrations to Dr. Kogan. He's a great man.

Also, today was the first day we were open for business. Craziness.

Had to save this from Facebook, but couldn't post it because my Mom is my friend haha

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 17:31:12 GMT

AQUARIUS
The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns. Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.

They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs. Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them.

FAVE POSITION
Mutual masturbation.

BEST SEX TOY
A Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this.

AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BED
She's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available. LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUS
Lie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action!

Oh, Please!

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:10:39 GMT

That scholarship would be heavenly, good sir.

My letter made my Mom cry, but she always cries.

"Josie, you make a beautiful prom queen." "Really? You too!"

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:19:32 GMT

Oh, fish guy... I could really fall for you.

Hypocrite.

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:35:25 GMT

*nods*

Have you ever made out in your room?
Yes

Be honest, who texted you last?
a woman I babysit for

Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
closed

Did anyone see your last kiss?
Oh freakin gosh, yes

Do you drink tea?
Yup

Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
As far as I know, everyone I kissed is older

Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Work

What's worse: dry skin or chapped lips?
Dry skin

Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together?
UHM. Well, it would have to be Baby Jesus or something as my mother lacks a uterus. So, yeah. Surprised would be one way to say it.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation?
California

Do you want to get married?
Not sure

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
Just panties and a baggy shirt ;)

So, what if you married the last person you texted?
Ha. Then I would have a lot of explaining to do.

Last person you told a secret to?
I can't remember the last secret I told...

Has anyone cried on your shoulder recently?
Nah

What are you listening to at the moment?
Mazzy Star, Five String Serenade

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Possibly couch

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Nope

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Sorta, I guess

Be honest, who is the easiest person in your life to talk to?
Strangers

Your ex says they never even liked you, you say?
I know

Say your last ex runs up to you and hugs you, what do you do?
Hug back

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
Yup

Are relationships ever really worth it?
Some

When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Earlier today, reading poolside

Do you like thunderstorms?
Yes

What's the weather like outside?
HOT HOT HOT

Do you believe in love?
Sure

When was the last time you saw your father?
Friday, the night before he left to China for the week. Oy.

Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
Karma pwns.

Have any memories that you'd like to forget?
Surely

Is there someone you'd really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
Yeah, lots of people

Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Honestly-I'm not sure. Leaning toward no.

How fast does your mood change?
.00000002 seconds

Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you?
Hm... not really. I'll joke about pretty much everything and anything

Do you need to say anything to someone?
Oh yes. Will I? Nooo.

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Sure do. First and last. Ew haha

How are you feeling?
Not so great, actually.

Do you want someone to call you right now?
No

What do you always take with you?
Chapstick

Have you ever been kissed on the neck?
Yes

Would you date someone taller than you?
I would only date someone taller than me, I'm fairly sure

If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back?
No sir

What was the last movie you watched and with who?
Harry Potter with Jackie, Steve, Lauren, Sean, Gregg, Nicole, Chad, Katie, Lindsay. Sarah, Ray and Fiana were also randomly there

Have you ever had a best friend?
A few, yeah

What does the song you're listening to remind you of?
Sleeping

What did you do today?
Yoga, paint my nails, read, hang out by the pool, cooked great food and watched TV

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
Waking up late and going to bed late

Is there anybody you're disappointed in right now?
As per usual, yes

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
Anxious, nervous, sad, or tired

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Hide

Are you happy?
Sure

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night

What were you doing at 1 a.m. this morning?
Sleeping

WHAT: Happened at 9:00 a.m. today?
In the process of getting out of bed

ARE YOU: Wearing something you borrowed from someone?
No

HAVE YOU MADE: A mistake this past week?
Yup

DO YOU KNOW: Anyone with the same name as you?
No

WHEN WAS: The last time you really laughed?
Not sure

Have you ever broke a flipflop?
Lots of times

Do you get sea sick?
Yes, on small boats

Have you ever been involved in a high speed car chase?
No

Do you own any Power Puff girl stuff?
No :(

Do you own a skateboard?
No

Have you ever been a vegetarian?
For about 5 minutes

Will this weekend be a good one?
Maybe

Which shoe do you put on first?
No idea

Aren't Uggs and Crocs the ugliest shoes ever made?
Yes, up there at least

Do you keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?
Sorta

What are you doing after this?
Sleeping

How tall are you?
1/4inch shy of 5'5"

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Probably something about being hungry

When's the last time you got stung by a bee?
Must have been more than ten years ago

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My Little?

Do you think anyone's lying to you right now?
Everybody lies. House told me so.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Never attempted to win

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
Clearly

If you were a reasonable age, would you prefer a baby boy or girl?
Girl

Would you rather date a girl/boy with a British or an Irish accent?
British

Do you say "fuck" a lot?
It happens

What color is the carpet in the room you're in?
Uh... light.. sandy.. white.. ish

Where is the next vacation you are going on?
Vermont

I've come to realize that my hair:
Is a lost cause

I've come to realize that when I talk:
I get progressively louder

I've come to realize that all I need:
are a lot of things

I've come to realize that I've lost:
much

I've come to realize that I hate it when:
-too many answers for this

I've come to realize that I'll always be:
trying to be/good better

I've come to realize that today I will:
go to work in 9 hours

I've come to realize that tonight I will:
go to bed to go to work

I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
be at work

I've come to realize food is:
good

I've come to realize that crying:
hurts

I've come to realize that death:
is still a mystery

Reading H.R. 676 (aka, Universal Health Care bill)

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 23:40:54 GMT

"Instituting a modest and progressive excise tax on payroll and self-employment income."
"Instituting a small tax on stock and bond transactions."

Fuck off, government. Tax me more for making money? And tax me to cash in a savings bond?

Also-
"Title I- Eligibility and Benefits
Sec. 101. Eligibility and Registration
(a) In General.- All individuals residing in the United States (including any territory of the United States) are covered..."

So... not just for citizens, eh? Cool. Illegals are AWESOME. Give them health care, baby. Why the ef not?

Man. I suck sometimes.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 02:03:19 GMT

It always gets me upset when I realize how long it's been since I studied/researched religion. Why isn't it a higher priority?

I mean, I already found two or three temples nearby. Like, almost two months ago. I should just go already. I suppose that means asking not to work Saturday mornings at the very least.

Now I feel like a piece of poop.

texts from last night

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 23:21:55 GMT

(905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.